It was finally TOO MUCH - February 19

The day started off so well. I had such pleasant plans. Meet with an economics teacher, go for a walk, play with children, then share a taxi (into Randi Por More – neighbor of Haridwar – to update the photos on my blog. What a great day – a day to rejoice in India, to be in the present. I have chosen my two things – writing and helping teachers – and this day would honor both choices. Lovely. Are you proud, Ravishankar? I’m getting it!

Ah ha! Right. Go to India and submit - you have no control over anything.

I met the new teacher – very bright young woman. I think she will be great. Worked with her on Econ – was really impressed with the textbook – an equal to an AP text in the US and every 11th and 12th grader in the school uses it - not just the advanced classes. I was REALLY impressed. They may waste a lot of time copying from the board but it seems that the system is working by the time they get to high school.

I was sauntering back to the Ashram for breakfast when Kavita told me there was a great shortage of teachers today and tomorrow. Many are interviewing for government teaching jobs which means Kavita has to start looking for replacements. The Ashram pays so little that government jobs, though offering harder conditions, look good in comparison. Kavita said today was covered but I would be needed tomorrow. No problem, I told her and went up and called for a taxi to pick us up at 12.

At 11:15 the day began to fall apart. A student found me with an administrator’s notebook in hand – I was quite surprised to find I had been scheduled to teach two classes today – the 5th graders – from 11:25 – 1 pm - Geography and Music. I looked at my watch, the first class started in 10 minutes - and the taxi was ordered for noon. Found one of the two women traveling with me, asked her to call the taxi and tell them to postpone it for an hour. This is India, of course - they said the driver would just wait at the Ashram. I hurried through both classes – didn’t have a great time. Not prepared, the kids were itchy. Ran to meet the two women at 1:05 – no taxi. Found out another woman from the Ashram took it! GRRRR. Called and ordered another but we weren’t able to leave until 1:40. I felt growing frustration – don’t get on me, Ravishankar. This is India’s fault – not mine.

I was dropped off at Randipormore and we agreed we’d meet in the same place in 2 hours. Went to the Internet Cafe where I have had the most success in the past. Got on line – but it was SLOW – and then the problems started. I could not download photos no matter how many different ways I tried. This exact computer had worked beautifully 2 weeks ago – what was wrong now? I tried everything I could think of. Thought of Lee – what would he do? Sha-ring, Sha-Ring, Sha-Ring . . . keep me calm, mantra, focused, at peace . . .

Took a deep breath and decided to switch over to email. If I couldn’t do the one thing I came to do – at least I could enjoy letters from family and friends. Thank you, all, for the lovely, newsy messages. It was great to read them – felt like I was home. So, I hit REPLY ready to enjoy writing lengthy answers – for once, I had time. This as an opportunity rather than a failed attempt at my original purpose. Yes, that’s it. Right! So, I hit REPLY - and the computer would not respond. Okay, this is okay, it’s just a quirk, no problem. Kept trying. Rebooted. Rebooted again. Started the whole sign-in process over – twice. Could not get it to respond to either REPLY or COMPOSE. I couldn’t believe it – I could read your messages but could not answer.

Now I am ANNOYED. Got up as calmly as I could. Calmly. Calmly - knowing that the desire to shoot something or someone was oh, so close, to the surface. Well, not so easy to get up as when I first sat down. I was sitting on a small rickety chair that bumped up against another small chair – with 3 men in it working on 1 computer. I have no idea what they were working on because, as soon as they came in, the owner pulled a small curtain between the backs of our two chairs. They were chattering and occasionally sounded pleased, but no idea what the topic was. Paid my 20 rupees. Then I had to squeeze past the knees of 2 men waiting in the tiny, tiny reception area – they were waiting for the 3 men and used the time to stare at me. Then work my way around the men standing at the top of the cement staircase that led down to the alley, then out into the street. I still had one hour left– and nothing accomplished (no, not true, loved the emails). I remembered a second Internet Café close by so walked over – it was working and, amazingly, much faster. I whipped out my flash drive, got onto the blog site – and once again it would not download. I tried everything.

At this point I wanted to hurl the computer down the cement stairs and watch it explode into millions of itty-bitty pieces. Then I was going to watch cows pick them up in their tender hooves – and I wouldn’t care! Then I would watch the tires of all the vikkrams, rickshaws, cars, scooters, pushcarts, etc all deflate and would LAUGH. India, go ahead, take control, yea, you take it and shove it up your . . . Sha- Ring, Sha-Ring, Sha-Ring, breathe, breathe, breathe, be in the present. Be in the present? What present? The present of compete and total chaos in a country that cannot get its act together? Phew, deep breath. Sha-ring, Sha-ring – oh, Present, go stuff it. Sha-ring, Sha-ring, breathe.”

I thought there must be SOMETHING positive to do with the remaining 30 minutes. Okay, I will get my frustration out by writing up this challenging day on a new post. I will make it humorous – yeah, that’s it. I know it will be funny when I get some distance from it. Deep breath. Deep breath. This too will pass.

Opened up the blog site, got to the New Post site and typed for 10 minutes. I got to just about this point in the description of my day when, yes, incredibly, the electricity went out. I couldn’t believe it. The lights began to flicker – would it come back on? Yes, yes it did! Hooray! But an empty screen stared at me. I had lost everything.

I submitted. I got up very, very quietly, paid my second 20 rupees (50 cents) and walked out on the street. It was too much. Another pivotal moment – laugh or cry? I stood there almost shaking in frustration and, amazingly, a young cow walked right up to me. I looked at its sweet face (didn’t touch it, mind you, no idea what bugs and germs are living on it) and laughed. I apologized for my horrid thoughts – I didn’t want even one of its hooves mangled with exploded computer bits. I took some more breaths, walked a bit in the neighborhood. Endured the stares. I still had 15 minutes before the taxi was to arrive. Sat on a low wall - probably not done by women but was far past caring. A beggar approached - I turned and looked at her - and she backed off. I guess my attitude was clear. I just sat and watched the street scene. Of course then you HAVE to laugh – the chaos is incredible. The usual parade of amusing things – the man with his wife/girl friend sitting side saddle on the back of his old bike, calmly talking on her cell phone; the piles loaded on bikes – seems impossible that the owner can steer under all the weight; the oblivion of everyone to the meandering cows. As things change in the world and we all become more alike, I am glad that the cows will continue to meander in India. It is unique.

The taxi arrived, the two women had been successful in their shopping and off we went to the “supermarket” – they had not shopped there yet. They both were a little scornful about the concept and said they would continue to shop in the small stores – but, once inside, we all found things we needed. I got some more toilet paper (2 rolls for the price of 1) and a box of Kleenex-type soft tissues - again, 2 for 1. So I am now in business – all needs taken care of. That soft area under my nose – the area that can get so abraded when you are constantly blowing – is a little tender. It is great to have softer tissue so it won’t get worse.

Back to the Ashram, dinner and bed. I am tired. Reviewing the day – most definitely NOT a Ravishankar day – way too much stress. But I remain glad I am here. I wonder if I will ever get more photos downloaded – may have to do them when I get home.

The Ashram is getting ready for Babaji’s arrival on Friday. Right this minute the children are practicing the welcome songs in the main room downstairs. The words and music float up to me. All in Hindi, utterly charming. They are getting quite excited.

Oh, WAIT; I can’t believe I forgot the truly interesting bit of new info. Get ready. Yes, I know I told you in a previous post that I had an honest-to-goodness piece of See’s candy, but this is bigger. My shower actually works! They came to adjust the heaters for Babaji – and mine now works. I turn on the switch, wait 30 minutes and then get warm (not hot) water for about 5 minutes. But it is an actual shower, folks. Took the first one this morning. It is interesting in that everything gets wet in the bathroom – you remove the towels, etc - but it was lovely. What is the big deal about a failed trip to town when I have my very own shower? And in my very own room. My roommate moved in with her sister. Her roommate (the woman who took our taxi – the horrid person! Actually, she is lovely) moved into another building. So for the time being I have my own room. And a shower. Can I ask for more? Yes, photos on my blog, please. The ability to answer emails, too. Maybe another day.